Building Emotional Muscle

by Theresa Haney

​

No doubt, rejection hurts. No doubt, it cuts to the core! And, no doubt, it builds confidence!
Rejection is like no other emotional hurt. It’s central to your primal need to belong. In hunter-gatherer societies, rejection from your tribe meant life or death, you couldn’t survive alone. In the 21st century, being rejected is an anguish that you either learn to accept and rise above by ultimately becoming stronger or you allow it to hold you back. If you validate the rejection, your ‘inner critic’ is off to races to seal the deal.

​

We all experience rejection. Choice Theory tells us that when you say yes to someone or something, you're inevitably saying no to something else. In the fast paced, high tech, information inundated highway that we live in, everyone is making choices…this or that? Whether it’s a romantic refusal, a social snub, a business slight, or a family exclusion - the pain associated with rejection has been found in fMRI (Functional MRI) studies to light up the same neuroreceptors in your brain that occur when physical pain is endured. No other emotional pain effects this part of the brain in the same way.

​

Yet, just as we tear muscle fibers to build muscle, tolerating social rejection with a positive internal narrative builds emotional resiliency and confidence. When you feel it and accept it and honor your disappointment, you are then ready to move forward in your Hero’s Journey. You emerge stronger, more confident and can trust that something even better is on its way. One sure fire way to practice the fear of rejection is to seek it out on purpose. Go out and get as many rejections as possible. Can you drive me to Cleveland this afternoon? NO! Ok, Next. Can you loan me a $100,000 by Friday? NO! OK, Next. Want to join my business? I don't know, tell me more. Ok...

​

Join Dr. Christiane Northrup and her sister, Penny Northrup Kirk and learn to go from fear of rejection to…next, and build awe inspiring emotional muscles.